


Handle

by GalekhXigisi



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Identity Reveal, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 17:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi





	Handle

Ladybug frowns at the hero currently sat atop one of the many chimneys in Paris. He sat on it with trained eyes, curled up on himself, staring at Paris without focus. He had gotten so  _ sharp _ within the past few months. She doesn’t know if  _ sharp _ is exactly the right word, but he had been  _ lethal _ when it came to akumas, especially as of late. So, slowly, she decides to asks, “Is it my fault, Chat?” 

He flinches, turning towards her within an instant. “Hm,” he hums in reply. 

This akuma had been rough, she knows it had. They had gotten separated at some point, the Masterful Illusionist  _ (the second part wasn’t earned until after they had learned their tricks) _ had locked Chat Noir in a cage, feeling more and more illusions to him. She wasn’t sure what he had seen, but by the time she had broke him out, he was  _ sobbing, _ full-on breaking down in her arms. It had taken more than just a few minutes to calm him down. 

“Do… Do you think I’m going to replace you,” she asks, slow and contemplative. 

He sharpens, eyes widening. “Are you going to,” he rushes out, voice nothing more than a panicked whisper. “Y-You don’t have to. I can  _ be better, _ Ladybug!” 

A new sense of dread seemed to fill the boy up, his breathing coming out in quicker huffs within an instant’s notice. Ladybug yelps, “No! Of course, I’m not!” She shakes her hands in front of her. “I just wanted to know if you’ve ever thought I’ve tried to.” 

Tears pool in his eyes. He scoffs, the noise low and somewhat bitter. “No, no, I know you’ve never…  _ Actively _ tried to replace me.” He sniffles, forcing a smile. “We’ve joked about it, sure, but…” 

“Oh, thank fuck,” she heaves out, smiling. She didn’t normally curse, but this seemed like one of those times where it  _ mattered. _ “With all the new heroes coming in when we need them, I though you’d be getting upset about them and thinking I was going to replace you. I promise you, I’m really not.” 

Ladybug tosses a smile his way, but that smile turns into a frown when she sees that unfocused look on his face, one she had been seeing on her friend, Adrienne’s, face all the time, now. It was so  _ distant. _ He doesn’t look like he’s focused on a singular thing, off in his own world with a somber look on his face. He looks more like he’s looking at a spot beside her head than anything, which wasn’t that abnormal for him  _ (or Adrienne, for that matter), _ but this seemed like it was a million lightyears away. 

“What’s been bothering you lately, Kitten,” she asks, which effectively  _ does _ get his attention, albeit coming with a sharp snap. “You’ve been really aggressive with akumas,” she supplies. He frowns, confused, to which she rushes out with, “Not that that’s a bad thing, no, it’s good! We get our job done faster!” He relaxes somewhat, though he’s still at attention. “You’ve just been extra sacrifice-y lately… And you’re honestly kind of deadly now.” 

“Then you probably should replace me,” he supplies, unfocused again. “If I hurt the akuma-” 

“I don’t mean deadly as in you might  _ kill _ them, Chat. I mean deadly as in you get in and get out of there as quick as you can.” 

“Oh…” His voice trails off, the cat no longer focused on his companion. Slowly, he starts out with, “I don’t want to lose you, that’s all.” 

“But I can fend for my own?” 

“I know you can, Ladybug. You’re one of the strongest people I know.” He smiles, something cocky and happy, but not protruding in the least. It’s something practically sappy if she’s being honest. “But… With everything going on outside of the suit, outside of  _ everything, _ it’s just… Hero-ing has sort of become my only escape from this. It’s all I’ve got to get away from my dad and being locked up in that stupid fucking house for  _ hours _ on end.” He seems to recede, reeling in on himself and curling up. “I hate it at home, but every single time I go out to be the hero, it always gets thrown in my face. Getting locked up, watching you get hurt…” 

“Is that what Masterful Illusionist showed you today,” she asks, low and full of worry. 

Chat Noir sniffles, running a hand over his face to wipe away the tears. “Yeah, yeah… She showed me watching you die again and  _ again… _ The first time, I couldn’t even save you… We had to bring in someone else to save you because I just… I  _ couldn’t _ save you.” His voice breaks beneath his words, a sob leaving him. “And I was locked up the entire time. I couldn’t even use my cataclysm because I was just a  _ stupid little girl _ with her  _ stupid blonde hair _ and  _ stupid little ribbons _ and  _ girls can’t fight unless that have powers, and you sure as fuck don’t.” _

Ladybug frowns. “Stupid… little girl,” she repeats, frowning. 

He flinches, jerking towards her. He simply supplies, “I’m transgender.” His brows furrow. “And it’s something my dad always uses against me because I tried to come out to him  _ once, _ so now, you’d think I was the whore of Babylon.” Chat Noir throws his hands up in defeat, slowly accepting the cries that fall from him. “If that makes you want a new partner-” 

_ “Gods, _ no,” she yelps, shaking her head, “No, I’m not getting a new partner that I’m all synced up with because your body decided to fuck you over.” She frowns at him. “You’re Chat Noir, my partner and best friend, okay? You’ve been with me through almost every single akuma outside of maybe  _ two. _ I trust you with my entire  _ life, _ okay?” 

He nods, choking down another sob, one so pitiful that it takes all her might to keep from getting up there and pulling him into a hug herself. “Okay,” he weakly confirms. 

“I… I know this comes with revealing our identities, but… if you’d like, I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind if one of the heroes of Paris decided to stay the night when things get too rough at home.” 

His eyes widen. “You’re… You’re  _ sure _ that you want to do this, LB? You’ve been so against it, I don’t want-” 

“I’ve been thinking about it so much, Chat, and… I trust you.” She smiles at him. “Do you think you can stay tonight? You look kind of rough and I know you don’t really like being alone…” 

He nods, more tears falling as he sniffles. It’s not a sad sort of cry anymore. Instead, he looks almost relaxed. “I-I’m sure I could. I’ll have to tell Nathalie where I’ll be… Maybe tell her I went out early.” 

Ladybug hums, ignoring the  _ Nathalie _ part. It bites at her, connected to the small bit of  _ Adrienne. _ Instead, she smiles and provides a soft, “Okay, follow me, Chat. I’m getting kind of sleepy.” 

He follows her into the night, far too trusting with this. However, he slips in behind her with all the elegance in the world, looking far more relaxed than he had any right to be. He even smiles and provides a gentle, “Guess I should have known who you were,” as he turns towards her desk, smiling at the photos of Marinette and her friends. He even relaxes more when she drops the transformation and walks over. 

“What’s that supposed to mean,” she asks softly. There was no bite to it, just confusion. 

He points to a picture of Adrienne, Marinette, and Juleka all seated beside each other. It was after the fashion shoot Adrien and Juleka had, Reflekdol making an appearance, as well as Monsieur Bug and Lady Noir. He pins a pointed nail on Adrienne, smiling widely as his own transformation drops, revealing the blonde whose smile could light up a million planets. “We’re friends!” 

Marinette smiles widely in reply. “Yeah, we are... “ 

He smiles as Plagg and Tikki talk, Plagg beyond just excited to finally know that Marinette and  _ Adrien _ had finally spilled their identities to each other. Marinette took to calling him Adrien within an instant. Alya especially noticed when the two were seemingly close as all Hell, walking (or riding) home together. Adrien was over at least once a week. Sabine was always there with a glass of chocolate milk (she didn’t understand his obsession with it, but was happy to supply it) and time to listen. 

They piece together the entire Aspik aspect of it, about the abandonment issues. They help him dissect things down, get him into therapy, parent him where no one in his household could, nor wanted to. 

The family was there when the inevitable genuine breakdown came out. He had broken down the instant he got in the home, thankful that it was after hours as he sobbed because, _My dad is fucking Hawkmoth, what the _**_fuck?_** They were there when Hawkmoth was taken down with an entire class of heroes. The heroes were there when Adrien dropped his transformation and plucked the miraculouses off of Nathalie and Gabriel, spitting venom in his words. 

“It’s fucking ironic, isn’t it,” he bites, glaring as he holds to the two miraculouses, not minding as Duusu and Nooroo greet Plagg. “I was your enemy then entire time, and you mine.” 

“Adrienne,” Gabriel attempts. 

“I’m Adrien and you  _ know _ that,” he snaps.

Nathalie frowns. “Adrien, we tried to get your mother back…” 

“I don’t  _ want _ her back,” he yelps out, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I wanted my dad to still love me and my caretaker not to be his evil fucking  _ assistant. _ You can even ask Ladybug just how relieved I was when you got akumatized. I thought that it meant you couldn’t be the  _ villain.” _ He wipes at his face. 

He exchanges a few more words, breaking down in front of the heroes and beyond just thankful when Nathalie provides that they had been working with Lila to akumatize people and get in their heads. 


End file.
